This is me yesterday… two hours post elbow surgery (had my detached triceps tendon reattached)… having just been released from the hospital… and still feeling ‘extra happy’ from the anesthesia!
For those that don’t know, I broke my right elbow playing basketball on the first full day of the Coach K Fantasy Camp at Duke last week. This event had been on my bucket list for a decade and was something I had been training for consistently for 6 months.
Ugh. So disappointing.
And while this is all still new, I want to share insight into my mindset around my approach to move forward…
For additional context, my elbow will be immobilized in this bandage and brace (have to wear it 24/7… need to cover it in plastic to shower!) for the next 14 days, then move to a series of movement restrained braces for 6 weeks, and then begin 12 weeks of physical therapy. Apparently a torn triceps is no joke (which explains the 6 inch scar I’ll have on the back of my right arm – which thankfully will be masked in my full sleeve tattoos!
In the spirit of vulnerability… last night (my first night home) was rough! I really struggled.
Oh well, that was to be expected. I’ll continue to adjust and get the hang of it.
One step at a time.
The nerve block is wearing off and I’m starting to get the feeling back in my right hand/arm. Which helps with my ability to perform some daily functions, but the pain is intense (even with my meds).
Obviously, none of this is fun, convenient, ideal, or preferred!
But it is my current reality.
No amount of whining, complaining, moaning, or self-pity will change my situation.
So the foundation of my mindset is ACCEPTANCE.
And let’s be real… it’s not cancer, not a heart issue, not neck/spine related, or any other serious, permanently life altering condition.
Heck, it wasn’t even the worst injury at the camp (two guys tore their ACL’s, two ruptured their Achilles, and one suffered a horrendous compound fracture in his lower leg).
So the next level up of my mindset is PERSPECTIVE.
However, with that said, I’m not minimizing it either. This is my first broken bone, first surgery, and first major injury (and I’ve been playing basketball for 45 years!).
It’s also the first time something has massively disrupted my routine (those that know me know I love my routines!), first time something has affected my ability to perform mundane daily tasks (sleeping, bathing, driving, typing, writing, etc.), as well as the first time something has interrupted my ability to work out for an extended period of time (I kid you not, I have not missed a full week lifting weights since I was 15!).
So I am giving myself the space and grace to feel frustrated, irritated, impatient, and angry at times. I don’t believe in suppressing, resisting, or ignoring emotions. I will let myself feel how I feel… yet do my very best not to let how I FEEL dictate how I BEHAVE (I’m allowed to feel frustrated, I’m not allowed to be disrespectful to others).
Once I process each of those emotions in real time, I’ll quickly move to the Next Play. I won’t stay stuck in a spiral of despair. I’ll choose a response that moves me forward.
Peter Crone often says, “Life will present us with people and circumstances to show us where we are not free.”
Thus, I am viewing ALL of this as a test.
Here are the 6 mindsets that will help me cope:
Mindset #1: I’m not asking, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ Instead, I’m asking, ‘What I can learn from this? How can I use this? What can I gain from this?’
Mindset #2: I’m focused on today. I’m focused on now. I’m focused on the present. I’m not focused on tomorrow or next week or next month… or what I will or won’t be able to do by certain dates. I’m solely focused on What’s Important Now? (W.I.N.). And any time I struggle with this mindset, I remind myself, ’This too shall pass.’
Mindset #3: If it doesn’t serve me, I won’t say it out loud. I don’t control my thoughts, but I do control whether or not I ‘listen to them’ and I do control if I speak them into existence. Thoughts like, ‘This sucks!’ or ‘This is hard!’ will be normal and certainly understandable. But I won’t give them power by vocalizing them. I will not say them out loud (or complain).
Mindset #4: I’m leaning in with gratitude. How? I’m grateful it wasn’t worse. I’m grateful for the outpouring of love and support from friends. I’m grateful for an opportunity to test myself and practice what I preach on page and on stage!
Mindset #5: I’m focused on doing the best I can, with what I have, wherever I am. I am not comparing myself to what I was able to do two weeks ago or under ideal circumstances.
Mindset #6: My daily mantra is “I can do hard things.” (thanks Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe!)
Putting these 6 mindsets into practice consistently every day will give me the ability, confidence, and optimism to keep moving to the NEXT PLAY.
And when I’m getting buckets at the 2026 Coach K Academy… this will all be a cool story!
Speaking of Next Play, my surgeon approved me to travel to Tampa THIS Sunday to deliver a keynote on Monday morning!
