For the last 10 years, almost every stage I’ve stepped on has been built around my Raise Your Game keynote. To be completely honest, that talk has gotten pretty good. Not because of talent or luck—but because repetition works. You get better at anything you do over and over again.
But here’s the truth I’ve had to confront:
What got me here won’t get me where I want to go next.
Part of my Next Play requires stepping out of my comfort zone. It means letting go of stories I’ve told for a decade. Concepts I’ve taught for years. Material that feels safe. And replacing them with something new, uncertain, and unfinished.
That stretch is uncomfortable—but it’s necessary.
The Idea of “Always Becoming”
One of the frameworks I live by is the concept of always becoming.
It’s not original to me, but it’s deeply personal.
I’m not trying to master anything. I don’t even know if true mastery exists. What I am committed to is evolution. Improvement. Development. Becoming a better version of myself—personally and professionally.
That’s the lens I use to view my life.
And here’s the part most people miss:
Most growth doesn’t happen when things are going well.
Growth Lives in the Mess
Real development happens when things don’t work out.
In setbacks.
In adversity.
In frustration.
In challenges that force you to respond instead of react.
So I ask this question often:
How do you handle things when they don’t go your way?
I want you to think about that through two lenses.
First, the micro—the day-to-day stuff. The small frustrations and annoyances that are part of the human experience. The little things we brush off or complain about without realizing they’re actually training grounds.
Second, zoom out to the macro—the bigger transitions and heavier moments life throws at us. Losing a loved one. Getting sick. Getting injured. Business setbacks. Financial stress. Market crashes. The stuff that truly tests us.
How do you process those moments?
How do you respond?
How do you bounce back?
I’ve learned that embracing the hard parts of life is just as important as enjoying the good ones.
Emotions Aren’t the Enemy
Of course, I have emotions I prefer.
I’d rather feel joy than frustration.
I’d rather feel excitement than disappointment.
I’m human—not a psychopath.
But I also understand that a life filled with only “positive” emotions isn’t realistic—or sustainable. The full palette of emotions is part of the human experience, and all of it impacts how we show up and how we perform.
Only when I stopped resisting the uncomfortable emotions—when I accepted and even welcomed them—did I create the space to truly grow. Even in less-than-ideal situations.
Your Next Play Isn’t Based on Feelings
Here’s a critical distinction:
You don’t choose your next play based on your mood.
You don’t choose it based on your emotions.
You don’t choose it based on your thoughts.
You choose your next play based on your standards.
Your core values.
And the vision of who you are committed to becoming.
Feelings are information—not instructions.
Turning Frustration Into Training
One of the ways I’ve learned to apply this is by gamifying everyday life.
Picture this: you’re at Target. The self-checkout is down. There’s one cashier. They’re moving at the speed of molasses. You feel your heart rate rise. You feel the impatience creeping in.
That moment used to frustrate me.
Now, I see it differently.
I take a breath.
And I’m grateful for the opportunity to practice exactly what I need most.
That’s not accidental optimism—that’s intentional discipline.
This Work Is Hard—and Worth It
Let me be clear: this isn’t easy work.
We don’t control our thoughts.
We don’t control our emotions.
But we do control who’s driving the car.
And when you consistently choose your next play based on standards instead of feelings, something powerful happens—you keep becoming.
Not perfect.
Not finished.
Just better.
And that’s the goal.
