Four years ago, I just took my then 10-year-old twin sons to the park to shoot some hoops. I rebounded for them during a few basic shooting drills.
As much as I Ioved spending time with them… their effort and attitude was abysmal. They complained about the heat (FYI: it was only 80 degrees) and they made several excuses for the missing so many shots (‘these rims suck!’).
So I pulled the plug and took them home.
I didn’t get upset.
I didn’t shame them.
I didn’t punish them.
After a quiet car ride home, I asked them a simple question, “What are the only two things in this world you have 100% control over, 100% of the time?”
“Our effort and attitude” they mumbled in unison (I was pleased they got this right as they’ve both attended several of my keynotes).
I then asked them, “On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate the effort you just gave and the attitude you just had?”
Luke reflected for 10 seconds and said, “Probably a 4.”
Jack quickly agreed, “Same for me daddy.”
I asked them what grade they would get in school if they got a 4/10 on a test.
“Not good” they both replied.
I nodded.
Then I sounded like a typical, cliched motivational speaker, “Do you really want to live a ‘not good’ life?” (As soon as I said it I laughed internally at myself for sounding so corny!)
“No, of course not” they said.
I then continued my impromptu mini-personal-development-workshop, “The only way you can live a happy and fulfilled life… the only way you can reach your goals and dreams… and the only way you can have high self-worth and self-confidence… is by giving your best effort and having a great attitude as consistently as possible. Anything less than that will lead to a ‘not good’ life.
Do you guys understand?”
“Yes daddy.”
I then finished off with, “I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. I’m saying this because I love you and I believe in you. You missed a golden opportunity today to get better at something you’ve told me you care about (basketball). Thankfully, there will be plenty of future opportunities to take advantage of. So I hope you learned a powerful lesson and can now move to The Next Play.”
Then I asked them if they had any questions…
Without missing a beat… Luke said, “Can we play on our iPads now?
