A major part of being emotionally agile is learning how to ‘be OK with not feeling OK.’
It’s learning to accept and be at peace with feeling angry, upset, disappointed, frustrated, irritated, and sad.
Those emotions are just as natural and necessary as joy, happiness, elation, pride, and peacefulness.
So, I don’t suppress them, and I don’t judge myself for feeling them.
Instead, I own them, acknowledge them, and process them.
When I am feeling low… I dig deeper to gain understanding and clarity on…
WHY am I feeling frustrated?
WHY am I feeling depressed?
WHY am I feeling so angry?
I continue to work hard on developing the emotional agility to know that these feelings are only temporary. In fact, when I let them flow through me, they rarely last more than a few hours at most.
I may GET frustrated… but I don’t STAY frustrated.
And I no longer allow that emotion to create an unending cycle of despair…
In other words, I don’t get frustrated for feeling frustrated.
That is an ‘emotional treadmill’ that is impossible to step off.
Additionally, when I am experiencing a low mood, I don’t project on to others.
I don’t ‘reply to that email’ when I’m frustrated because I know my current emotional state is tainted. And ‘sending that email’ won’t be good for anyone.
Instead, I give myself permission to feel how I feel… and will ‘respond to that email’ later after that emotion has subsided.
This is NOT about being fake.
This is about being ‘emotionally responsible.’
Emotional intelligence and its pillars (self-awareness, empathy, humility, and vulnerability, etc.) are often referred to as ’soft skills.’
Which is extremely misleading because they are the HARDEST traits to develop! Not to mention they are the most important skills a person can possess…
It’s HARD to develop SOFT skills!
But it’s so worth it…
