*These 4 concepts were presented by Kelly Frager at a SHRM workshop

Self-Awareness: The ability to recognize/understand your moods, emotions, and drives, as well as their effects on others

  • Knowing how your feeling and why
  • Knowing your personal strengths and limits
  • Having a sense of your own self-worth and capabilities
    1. WHAT am I experiencing right now?
    2. WHY am I experiencing that?
    3. HOW is it impacting me and my ability to perform?

Social Awareness: The ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people

  • Sensing others’ feelings and perspectives and taking an active interest in their concerns
  • Sensing others’ development needs and bolstering their abilities
  • Anticipation, recognizing and meeting the needs of others
  • Cultivating opportunities through different kinds of people
  • Reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships
    1. WHAT is the other party(s) experiencing right now?
    2. WHY might they be experiencing that?
    3. HOW is it impacting them and their ability to perform?

Self-Regulation: The ability to control disruptive impulses/moods, suspend judgment, and think before acting.

  • Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check
  • Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity
  • Taking responsibility for personal performance
  • Flexibility and handling change
  • Being comfortable with novel ideas, approaches and new information
    1. WHAT could/should I do with/about what I am experiencing?
    2. WHY should or shouldn’t I?
    3. HOW can I appropriately express/impact what I am experiencing?

Social Regulation: A proficiency in managing relationships and building networks


  • Wielding effective tactics for persuasion
  • Listening openly and sending convincing messages
  • Negotiating and dissolving disagreements
  • Inspiring and guiding individuals and groups
  • Initiating or managing change
  • Nurturing instrumental relationships for building bonds
  • Working with others toward shared goals
  • Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals
    1. WHAT could/should I do in this situation?
    2. WHY should or shouldn’t I?
    3. HOW can I positively influence this situation (to leave it better than I found it)?