These 3 mantras are true in sports, true in business, true in parenting, and true in every area of our lives. So let’s expand on each of these mantras…
Mantra #1: It’s not about me, it’s about you.
At the core of this mantra is the desire to serve, the desire to pour into others, and the desire to value other people’s dreams, goals, wants, and needs. It’s the epitome of selflessness.
I feel strongly that you should be able to look every member of your family in the eye – your spouse or significant other, your children – and say, it’s not about me… it’s about you.
You should be able to look your teammates in the eye – your colleagues and coworkers – and say, it’s not about me… it’s about you.
And you absolutely need to be able to look those that you serve in the eye – your customers, clients, and members – and say, it’s not about me, it’s about you.
When you can shift your focus off of what you want FROM people, and put it on what you want FOR people, you become the most magnetic person in any room.
And two other concepts come to mind when I think of this mantra:
- If you focus on taking/accumulating, you’ll never have enough. If you focus on giving/serving, you’ll never run out.
- A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
When you say, it’s not about me, it’s about you… you gain strength, you don’t lose it.
Mantra #2: Connect first, coach second
I learned very early in my career that the key to effective leadership is to connect with those that you lead. You must earn and establish trust, respect, buy-in, and believe in before anything else. That is the foundation. That is the prerequisite.
In fact, you can only hold someone accountable to level of trust and respect that you’ve built.
And the essence of connection, is caring. The adage of no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care is an eternal truth.
Mantra #3: Accept it or correct it
I love this mantra because it’s binary by design. While most of leadership falls in the grey area and is heavily nuanced… making things binary can provide helpful clarity.
Ultimately, every single thing someone on your team says or does is either aligned with your purpose, mission, vision, and values… or it isn’t. There is no in between.
When you observe someone on your team doing something that is in alignment with your purpose, mission, vision, and values… you need to acknowledge it and praise it, because that which gets praised, gets repeated.
When you observe someone on your team doing something that is NOT in alignment with your purpose, mission, vision, and values… you need to care enough to correct it… and coach them up.
And don’t forget, blaming… complaining… and making excuses is not an option!