Have you ever texted or emailed someone you know or have met and they didn’t respond?
You got ghosted?
Of course you have.
It’s part of the human condition in this digital world.
The real question is, did you tell yourself one of these stories:
“They must be mad at me.”
“They don’t like me.”
“I’m obviously not important to them.”
I know I’ve done this too many times to count.
And it’s never helped.
I’ve finally realized that choosing to make up a self-defeating story to rationalize why someone doesn’t respond never serves you well.
What is my approach now?
I admit that I don’t have all of the info and don’t know what is going on in their world.
They could be dealing with a personal crisis, or they could have dropped their phone in the toilet.
I acknowledge this is their issue, not mine!
I only control what’s on my side of the fence.
As a standard life philosophy, I try not to get upset over things outside of my control.
Now, when I occasionally find myself reverting back to this self-sabotaging behavior, I ask myself – is this story true?
Or am I assuming?
What is the point of getting upset over something I don’t even know to be true?!
Then I ask myself, ‘What if I knew for certain this wasn’t true?’
What if I knew for sure they weren’t mad at me, they do like me, and I am important to them?
How would I feel then?
So that’s the story I choose to tell myself instead!